Depends. Are you making dinner or dessert?
Every time this question comes up, people divide into camps like we’re choosing the next ruler of a small, cheese-covered nation. One side declares pineapple delicious. The other acts as though a fruit escaped the salad bowl and committed a crime.
I understand why pineapple and ham work together. I’ve had them together. The sweet and salty combination makes sense. I simply don’t prefer sweet meat. No honey ham here. If I’m having ham, I want it smoked.
So on my dinner pizza, pineapple does not belong. That’s a preference, not a law. You can order yours with pineapple and ham, and I will leave you in peace with your slice. I’ll be over here eating the one with smoky toppings and no fruit.
But change the question to dessert pizza, and pineapple is welcome. Put it on a sweet crust with cinnamon and something creamy, and I’m interested. Suddenly the fruit isn’t interfering with dinner. It has found its people.
The pineapple argument seems to depend less on whether fruit belongs on a crust and more on whether we can tolerate somebody enjoying a different crust than ours. I can. I would rather spend dinner eating than appointing myself sheriff of your toppings.
There’s only one rule at my table: tell me which pizza is dessert before I take a bite. I’d like to meet my pineapple at the proper time.
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